Monday, August 25, 2008

I have been set free!

Not too long ago, my whole world was sent spinning. Once it finally slowed and I regained my balance, I realized that I had been set free!

You see, I grew up in a very conservative Christian church. There were many many do's and don'ts and you had to follow them just right or surely you were not on the right path. I was very conscientious to try my hardest to follow that "right path." As I was growing up, there were a few things that just didn't set right in the back of my mind but I learned to push those aside for the sake of following that "right path." A friend would at times express doubt and I would also push that aside. If you have doubt, that clearly means you just don't have enough faith. Or is that really what doubts and those little things in the back of your mind are all about?

Looking back, I now know it wasn't that I didn't have enough faith, I was not following that little voice that is there to lead and guide us. This was a slow process for me to learn but thankfully God is patient and will send just the right things at the right time for our growth process!

It started with a trusted family member acting on his own small doubts. After careful study, he was convinced that a very significant doctrine of the church, about the very nature of God, was flawed. He was excited about this new revelation and shared with not only the rest of the family but also started sharing with other church members. Our family embraced this wonderful new information. This was one of the same things that had been bothering me in the back of my mind from the beginning, so I too embraced it. The rest of the church however, did not. In fact, they did not appreciate anyone that spoke of such things. Most of my family was asked to leave the church. This was the first step God took in setting me free!

Slowly other aspects of the church I grew up in faded away. Surly I was on the straight path that led right to the gates of hell! I had an almost constant pressure of guilt baring down on me- I wasn't studying the Bible like I "knew I should" have been doing. All those do's and don'ts came back to haunt me often.

There were some things that I had secretly been curious about but were considered to be straight from the devil himself. Psychic powers, any form of alternative healing beyond herbal remedies, gems and crystals, etc. All these were definite off limit subjects. These off-limit subjects were pushed aside like the other doubts until I was fully set free.

The same friend that had expressed doubts in the past, sent my husband and I a link to a set of videos on YouTube. I scoffed at the title: "Religion Comes From Ancient Astrology and Sun Worship." Throughout all my doubts, I was very sure that Christianity and the Bible were truth, but somehow God had opened my heart just enough to be open to what these videos had to say. I was amazed at how open I was to these videos as they are what completely shook me and sent my world spinning. They talked about how the origin of the Bible and Christianity are deeply rooted in ancient astrology. It made complete sense.

Yet I felt like everything I had ever believed was yanked right out from beneath me. What is truth and how do I know where to find it?? Through all this I knew for sure that there was a God, a Higher Power. He/She/(whatever the nature of the true God is) has taken care of me and led me in the past and I knew that was still there no matter what. I talked a lot with my husband and we seemed to be mostly headed in the same direction. That Christianity was just not the path for us. Like so many people, I had previously believed that only Christians could be spiritual, God believing, good people but I was finding that was FAR from the truth!

I even ventured to talk to my mother and found that she and an aunt of mine were on the very same path and had been for quite some time. She steadied my spinning and assured me that God is still in control. To just listen to that voice inside and it would direct me. Wow, what a revelation! Exactly what I should have been doing all along- listening to that voice, following my heart. I was set free!



In our conversations, my mom mentioned that we as humans use only a small part of our brains and just imagine what we could do if we used just a small portion more. She also talked about her interest in ancient healing methods. Both of these rekindled that secret interest in those "forbidden" subjects.

I had always been interested in rocks as a child so that is where I stared. I searched the internet for anything to do with healing properties of gems and crystals. It was so interesting to me. I went to the library to see what I might find there. I wasn't really finding what I thought I was looking for but just as I was about to leave, one book just stood right out to me. Essential Reiki by Diane Stein. I had remembered seeing the word Reiki in some of my searches online so I grabbed the book and left. It sat on the end table for a few days as it wasn't what I had set out to find.

My husband and I were talking one day about superpowers and if we could pick a superpower to have what would it be. Telekinesis, teleportation, clairvoyance, telepathy, superhuman strength/speed, etc. I thought about this and although many of those would be awesome to have, the superpower I would pick would be to be able to heal people. Imagine the good you could do with that! Around this same time, I ran across a quiz online. I can't even remember where I found it or completely what it was about other than it had to do with supernatural gifts. My supernatural gift? Healer.

I did finally pick up the library book and instantly I was drawn in. I'm not usually a big book reader but I sat and read and read and read. This was a whole new world to me and I was very excited to have found it! Reiki could very well bring that healing "superpower" into being! And the best part of this? The power comes straight from the God I was learning to trust! I again scoured the internet for more information. I read story upon story of the awesome healing power that Reiki is. My draw to Reiki is very strong so I am excited to explore it and other natural, alternative healing methods!

I look forward to what God (He/She/Other) has in store for me in the future as I learn to trust and rely on that small Voice inside!