Wednesday, December 28, 2011

The evolution of Sara through 2011

I feel so much has evolved in the past year.

I admit, it was slow in the beginning.

The weekly art journal class I signed up for wasn't what I expected. A drawing class I joined wasn't what I thought it would be. So energy waned a bit.

I did journal some, started The Artist's Way book, and kept a small daily account of life with monthly vision boards. They all slowed to almost a complete stop by spring.

But growth was still bubbling under the surface.

I bought books to help me with my self exploration. They're all on the shelf unread. I just didn't know exactly what I needed but felt pulled toward my personal evolution.

Toward the end of summer I felt that my "evolution" focus for the year was almost a waste, a failure of sorts. I didn't feel my progress was as great as my "natural" focus the year before.

I should know better than to compare. Even if it's with myself.

Soon after, I went on a trip that stretched me to my limit. Made me trust and rely solely on myself. It was hard. I wanted to leave. I cried. I grew. I learned. I loved it.

I learned that I CAN do it. Whatever IT is. I AM stronger than I think I am. And I CAN do whatever I put my mind to.

A month later, the girls started school. My baby was going to kindergarten. Which is a lot of emotion and time for pause in itself.

For the first time in seven years I would have significant time to myself. What was I to do with this time?

I knew I didn't want to waste it.

I wanted to walk. To be outdoors more. I wanted to start drawing a tarot card everyday and become more efficient as a reader. I wanted to work through some of my junk and release it. I wanted to do more art journaling. I was looking for personal growth.

To be ready for that first day alone, I printed out an ebook I purchased a couple months before called Digging Deep. The next day, as I looked back in a journal, I read what I wrote at the beginning of the year about about my original desire for personal evolution.

Its said "I've really been wanting to dig deep and get to know myself, my beliefs, and wants, and to work on improving my weaknesses." It was the perfect reinforcement that I needed to actually start on my ebook.

I quickly fell into a comfortable rhythm. Drop the girls off at school- go park at the library- carry out my personal ritual for centering and drawing a tarot card- walk random paths and explore town for 20-30 minutes- find a cozy place in the library to work through my self exploration books, journal, or art journal- then proceed with the rest of the day.

I felt inspired. My personal insight was growing. Walking around town with lots of fresh air and sunshine was renewing. It was fun watching the season slowly change from summer to autumn to winter.

Digging Deep really helped me to work through some negative beliefs I had about myself and experiences I've had in life. It's helped me get to the bottom of those belief, the source, and transform them into positive beliefs. I was amazed at the results!

Around this same time, I heard about visual journeys through a friend that was taking an ecourse from a Native American woman.

I decided to try taking my own journeys. A meditation of sorts. Through these journeys, I was told to not be afraid of my own evolution. To let go of the things that hold me back.

After working through Digging Deep, (all the way to the end I might add!) I moved into a book called the Intuitive Way. This is an awesome book! I would recommend it to anyone wanting to become more aware, wanting to get in touch with their inner wisdom, or find more success and joy in life.

My awareness was increasing. I started trusting those very small "insignificant" feelings and thoughts. The same feelings I was taught to not trust growing up.

There is so much wisdom and power locked up in each of us. In me. In you! We just need to believe in ourselves- that is the key to unlock it and release it!

While working in this book, I felt a deep urge to help others connect to their inner wisdom. Around this same time, I began drawing tarot cards that expressed a coming change, an exciting time with new career venture, abundance and prosperity, skill that will develop into a successful career, establishing entrepreneurial skill, financial comfort.

I began thinking about how I could develop a class to help others connect with their inner wisdom, their true life path, their passion.

I want to somehow work in a creative aspect to it. Art is a big part of what I love and almost a deep need as strong as food.

I want a beautiful little shop on main street. A place to nurture others. A place for others to come and relax, to draw, paint, or read. A place to inspire. A place to teach others to connect to their inner wisdom.

I was overwhelmed with the hows of cultivating my own workshop. Of bringing intuition and art together and putting it into a pretty package.

Doubts crept in. I journaled through it, got support through more visual journeys. Leaned into processing and transmuting the negative into positive.

I realized that the person I am NOW is not necessarily the person I once WAS. I am growing and this IS something I can do!

Shortly after, I was lead down a path to a website. Soul Art. It's a process of connecting with the inner self through art. Exactly what I've been wanting to do! And not only that, but this spring she will be offering a 10 week class to teach people how to direct others in this process!

I am beyond excited about this possibility. I feel I have been lead to this. The only drawback is the price, but I'm not worried. Things have fallen in place so far, why would it not continue!

I'm also taking another amazing class Ignite: Fearless Painting Teacher Training.

As the weather has gotten cold in the last couple weeks and over the girls' holiday break, I've fell out of my daily ritual. I've spent way too much time online.

I am looking forward to the new year. To finding a new wintery rhythm for my days. To continuing my inward exploration and finding that wisdom. To progressing with my art. To letting go of the things that hold me back. To leaning into this new phase of my life. To flourishing.

Flourish: verb
1. : to grow luxuriantly: thrive
2. a: to achieve success: prosper
b: to be in a state of activity or production
c: to reach a height of development or influence


Flourish. My word for 2012. I look forward to my life flourishing this year. But at the same time I don't want it to be a whirlwind of a flourish. I still want to slow down and enjoy the moment so I'm adding a second word to balance it out.

Awareness:
1. :having or showing realization, perception, or knowledge
2. :vigilance in observing or alertness in drawing conclusions from what one experiences


I feel this is a more complete ideal. I want an awareness lead flourishing life this year!